Wait, wait...

Cervicus splenius quadratus lumborum spinae erectors gluteals.

If you read Latin that sentence reads something like "cervical neck square back spine support butt."

If you are familiar with anatomy, you'll recognize that as a list of muscles.

If you are Erica, those are the muscles that are causing the most amount of discomfort and if you are me, those are the muscles that I have to spend a fair amount of time massaging.

As the belly expands, it stresses and pulls on the surrounding tissues, causing discomfort. Due to my time as a college athlete I've had my share of problems and I paid a lot of attention to my rehab and treatments. I know what to do to relieve muscle tension and pain.

So our evenings are spent with Erica laying on her side with my elbow or fist or thumb sticking into her back, neck and hips. Not the most fun or entertaining times, but as we learned in our birthing class: this time is all about making the mother the most comfortable she can be.

And Now We Wait

O.K. We are less than a week from the due date (although I think our little girl is gonna take her time). The nursery is put together, the diapers and clothes have been washed and put away, and curtains and valances are hung.We've had the carpets cleaned. We've packed a lot of boxes and put extraneous items in storage.

There is nothing else to do.

There is nothing else to prepare.

Erica and I just have to wait. This is the hardest part of the whole pregnancy. It is quiet but it's the quiet before the storm. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and I like to just take things head on. But after all the preps and all the waiting I just want to get on with it.

So all I've got to say now is to our tiny, sweet little girl.

"Bring it!!"

3 Weeks To Go...

...and Erica still hasn't been sick. She really hasn't slowed down much at all. Mostly she complains about how difficult tying her shoes is. I don't know many women this far into their pregnancy can still go to the gym and do this (well, I was making the assumption that she could do that before - which I don't think she could):




Or this!! Granted, her defensive stance isn't real great and she may have travelled and double-dribbled. Anyway...

Entertainment Value

{{Mark and I did our baby entries independently of one another... but it may make you chuckle how similar they are!}}


My life is filled with laughter.

Giggling, actually.

Erica used to be amused by me. But not anymore. I could crack jokes and she’d laugh. I would make some funny, astute comment about current events and she’d laugh. Now she does all her laughing without me.

I’ll hear laughter emanating from the other rooms. I run in and catch Erica lying on the couch or the floor with her shirt pulled up above her belly (that’s actually what got her pregnant in the first place).

“Did you see that?” she giggles.

“What?”

“Your baby sure is kickin’ up a storm….he he he haw! Did you see that one?”

Naturally, I’ve turned away and missed whatever is making her so happy. “What?”

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All Erica does anymore is stare at her belly and giggle; unless, of course, she’s looking at her belly button, which frightens her. She’s afraid it’s going to turn around and stick out.

Our baby moves a lot. She dances on Pointe on Erica’s bladder. Sometimes she does some funky hip hop thing that makes Erica’s belly vibrate. We will watch her explore the boundaries of her world by sticking a foot or fist toward the noise and light.

Erica interprets the movement arbitrarily. We go to a musical and girl baby moves around – she likes the play. A loud motorcycle drives by and girl baby moves – she hates motorcycles. Erica listens to Frank Sinatra, baby moves – likes. I listen to Beastie Boys, baby moves – hates.

We watch a movie about basketball; baby moves…well, I have to interpret that as she likes it. She’s gotta’ get a college education somehow.

Sympathetic Weight Gain

Erica's gained 30 pounds since getting pregnant...

Hm. So have I.

The Genetic Stew

Early on in a pregnancy, there is an exchange of genes. One may wonder, as their child develops, which of those genes got passed on.

There could be some concern. We all have deficiencies we don't like and wouldn’t want to pass on to our progeny. And we all have traits that we do like. The big question is: During that early chromosomal hug - which genes stuck and which didn't.

As we read about the development of our child each week, it'll say things like "The ears are formed now." The question is: Are they ears like mine? (stick out a little), Or ears like Erica's? (stick out a lot).

Erica has the singing gene. (Good) And I couldn't carry a tune if my life depended on it. (Bad).

We're both tall and long, which made for a gawky adolescence. But there are some short relatives also - the recessive genes could make our baby short and stumpy. Will she be a center or a point guard?

Erica is beautiful but I am quite average. I have strong legs but a weak back. Erica is smart, but I am smarter. Will our little girl be of average intelligence? (Erica), Or a budding genius? (Mark). My brother had red hair as a kid and no one knows where that came from.

Erica and I both needed braces. I had a slight overbite, and Erica’s teeth came in behind each other, like a shark. So we’ll plan on braces, but how long our poor baby needs them, depends on whose tooth-genes she gets.

So we wait and wonder what our little girl will be like. She will be adored one way or the other but I'm just curious...

The Registration

Registering for a wedding is easy. All you do is walk through a store and find all the things you need or want and put them on a list. Since I had already been living on my own when I got married, it was even easier, because I already had most of the things I Needed…. I guess I just needed stuff that “matched.”

Now Registering for your first baby is a scary and overwhelming proposition. It’s not jsu8t finding stuff that matches. I don’t know what kind of nipples to buy for the bottle. I don’t know what kind of stroller to get. I walk into Babies R Us and from my point of view it may as well be a CostCo for aliens. It’s just a warehouse full of stuff that I don’t know anything about. I mean, what is a burp rag?… Do I need two or do I need a doze? And, why can’t I just use a washcloth? Does it need to match the diaper bag and the crib, or not?

I don’t know.

I’ve been soliciting help from my new-mom friends. And it’s still confusing. What’s a Bjorn? Or a Snugli? What’s a Boppy? Does it help me or is it just something I hit myself or my child with?

I don’t know.

So I put my trust in others, to lead me down the right path. And if that path has Bundle Mes and Play Yards… then so be it. Because I sure don’t know what they are.

Little Girls

So according to the ultrasound doctor… those were “girl parts” we were looking at. I was happy either way with a girl or a boy. But the thing about a girl is - I’ve never been around little girls.

I grew up with a brother, a basketball coach father and my poor mom (who I think secretly wanted a girl at some point). I have a couple of girl cousins, but they lived on the other side of the country, and all my other cousins are boys. So, if conversation ever lagged, we could always throw rocks at stuff.

I’m a little intrigued and a little scared about he whole little girl experience.

I certainly pay attention to girls now, a lot more than I used to. And it’s not just an observation of “Oh that’s a cute little girl.” It’s more like “Okay, I sure see a lot of pink.” “Boy, she sure is chatty.” “That’s a lot of frilly stuff coming out of the handle bars of that bike.” “Oh look, those roller-blade knee pads of pictures of Arial on them.”

Everyone tells me I’m going to be a great dad to a little girl, but it sure is an adventure into the great unknown for me.

So hopefully I’ll have things to talk about with my little girl because I don’t think resorting to throwing rocks at stuff will work.

Lucky Me

Right now I consider myself fortunate.

When I first told my brother that Erica was pregnant, I got the requisite jokes about ‘Have fun with the mood swings. Have fun rubbing her tired swollen feet.‘ From what I understand, these jokes are really based on fact.

My coworker, Nika, told me how she was a raving lunatic during her pregnancy. To the point where a simple question about Christmas tree led to a screaming argument that ended with her standing in the doorway of her home while her husband went to work shouting, “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!”

And Nika is a calm, bright, intelligent person.

So, you can understand a little concern about the ensuing months when Erica told me she was pregnant. Yes, concerns with the hormonal fluctuations going on in my wife.

Now to my surprise and joy, Erica apparently has good birthin’ genes.

As a result, I haven’t had to deal with any kind of mood swings, swollen feet, crying, screaming, projectile vomiting or unreasonableness.

Erica has been a trooper though this whole thing. We still pretty much go about our daily business as usual. She’s the same delightful, sturdy, sing-a-long kind of a person, anyone would want next to them all of the time…just as she’s always been.

The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

So there I was.

I was done with my jog and I was laying on the floor stretching. Because Erica works early, I’m used to mornings alone, just Ginger and me. So I was surprised to hear the garage door open and Erica pull her car in.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise,” I thought… I actually get to see my wife.

So I’m lying on the floor, Erica walks in, we say hello. As we talk about nothing,she has a tough time staying to any specific topic … it’s a bunch a rambling nonsense. A lot of “So… how was your day?” “So, what are you doing later?” “So, what do you want to do this weekend?” She also had a tendency to follow me around a bit. I’d go to the stairs to stretch, she’d be standing there talking to me. I’d go lay on the floor and she’d move next to me to talk to me. ‘I’m thinking: What’s her deal?” She also grinned a lot. Now, I was happy just to see my wife in the middle of the week, so I wasn’t passing too much judgment on her odd behavior… plus I’m kind of used to odd behavior from her.

So finally, she spills the beans. “Uhhhh…. I think I’m pregnant!”

I said, in my best matter of fact voice “Well… that’s exciting.” Apparently one pregnancy test had come up positive but the dog sort of interfered. So Erica was mostly sure.

Now the Hansen girls (Erica’s sisters) for the most part, are pretty fertile women so I didn’t have much doubt. Erica must have had some, because I came home to find a stack of positive pregnancy test with a little note that said “I guess you’re ‘gonna be a papa now!”

So the journey begins…